Trashspotting - An Overview and Annotated GuideCompiled by
Robert L. “Spongebath” Dane
R. Beef Kazenzakis“WE ARE ARCHAEOLOGISTS OF THE PRESENT”TRASHSPOTTING, PRACTICAL DEFINITION: To analyze the curbside recycling and general refuse of a household, neighborhood, city, or country, especially with a long-term view, for intellectual gratification, for social pleasure, and for cultural perspective.TRASHSPOTTING, EXPANSIVE DEFINITION by E L-G
Like a doctor does make an assessment of his patient through symptoms and subtle cues — like Sherlock Holmes, who could know the whole man by the marks and creases on his discarded shirt or hat, so do Trashspotters read the parts of the environment that are, to most, invisible. We are archaeologists of the present.
But talk with a man and he will suit his conversation to his audience; read his refuse to know his private measure. To Trashspot is to cut to the quick and know the true rhythms and trends of your fellow beings. To Trashspot is noble, though its subject is refuse. To Trashspot is to seek truth and interest in life, to spend time among friends, and to exercise the body. To Trashspot is to live fully, and well, and long.I. The Master Council
The Master Council and Overseeing Body, for purposes of information centralization, inter-club dispute settlement, and maintenance of the living canon of Trashspotting lore and legend, shall consist of the Achewood Club: E L-G, R.D., R. B. K. Contact person shall be Emeril LeGoinegasque, email@example.com
.II. The Clubs
For matters of practicality and low profile, clubs are a maximum of six persons, and a minimum of two. Solo-member clubs are welcome, but this is a social sport and typically benefits its members most from two or more minds. Groups of greater than six tend to lose focus extremely fast, but more deleterious is their high profile, so if a Club does find its membership to swell, sub-groups ought take the same routes but many minutes apart, and meet up afterward at a favorite breakfast restaurant or, given the hour, a bar or café where food is served. Such staggered trips often create lively discussion and good-natured competition.II-1. Club Nomenclature
The captain, or absolute leader of a club, is the Boodge
. The Boodge
is typically the founder but can be named by the founder if the founder does not want executive responsibilities.
Second-in-command, who leads in the absence of the Boodge
, is the Cardo
. He/she is appointed by the Boodge
Proven or regular members are unnumbered, and are referred to as Devils
Unproven or new members are Clear Devils
Floating Occupation: The Jimframe
takes the photos and keeps the minutes and compiles this information on-line. This can be a person of any rank. If the Boodge
is the Jimframe
, he is the Boodge-Jimframe
, and so on. It is possible to have a Clear Devil-Jimframe
, but not advised. The Boodge
appoints the Jimframe
.III. Municipalities and Overlapping Territory
Any clubs may share routes. This enhances the amount of ongoing analysis. If tensions arise, the club Boodges must both contact the Master Council in order to enact resolution. The Master Council’s verdict will serve as the final ruling.IV. Official Paraphernalia
Club members are encouraged to wear official Trashspotting apparel on outings and to potlach. The official crest is this:
The crest consists of a border, a vessel with a crown/light icon, initials of the sport, and three wedges, or flags, which represent the founders of the sport in its modern form (LeGoinegasque, Dane, Kazenzakis). Official gear will be made available come May 2006.
Sturdy, athletic footwear is advised, for the sessions may last several hours. It may also be necessary for a club to scramble on foot at great speed, so running shoes are always good candidates.
Additionally, one who walks for long periods should enjoy good nourishment, and a traditional club snack is a benefit of the sport. The Master Council’s club enjoys hot smoked turkey legs full of protein which is ideal for the long outing. In the warm months we enjoy them cool. You may enjoy anything from the convenience of jerky to the luxury of fried chicken, so long as your members are nourished and your trash is placed in public receptacles and not those of your subjects.V. Comportment
Trashspotting is non-invasive, and Trashspotters typically do not handle the materials they analyze. A Trashspotter would never leave a site any different than he found it; that is to say, he leaves no additional recycling of his own. This would corrupt the clues for other clubs.VI. Protection
It is commonly known that some do not like their refuse inspected and analyzed, and will become sore to the point of violence if they see you looking into their curbside bins. It is the code of the Trashspotter never to raise his hand in an offensive display of anger, but only in defense from attack, and only to repel the attack, and not to retaliate or escalate the violence.
That said, should you find yourself in a dangerous situation with a home-owner, landlord, or tenant, it is advised that you run fast afield. Most instigators of property-originating violence will not venture far from their property. It is instinctual. VI.i. Safety of Members
No member shall abandon another member who has fallen and is in danger or otherwise.VII. Liability
Refuse and recycling are typically no longer considered legal property of the owner, but you may wish to confirm this within your jurisdiction. So long as you are not handling the materials, peering invasively over fences, or trespassing &c, you are generally within your rights to stand and ponder any curbside bin or bag.VIII. Potlach
The Potlach, or “pot-luck,” is a gathering of a club or many clubs to share hot grilled foods and does not involve the activity of Trashspotting. It is purely social and typically there are chips and beer, a seven-layer Mexican-style bean dip, taquitos, cookies, and the vegetables and meats for the grill. Music should be played at a good volume but not so loud as to disturb any neighbors. All recyclables should be recycled in the host’s bins. There may be dessert, but it should be light. The responsibilities for bringing the various foods are delegated by the Boodge.In Closure
Thus it is spoken. Bon Q'huiellaé Détritus.
E L-G, April 18, 2006Achewood Master Council